post promos

I took promos in a special room. (and I missed GP) because I went on crutches for the first time in my life. cuz my foot went crazy and painful and swollen. strangely enough I just realised the pain started on the day of my last post anw I still have no idea what happened, perhaps a stress fracture, I know it became worse and worse and it SWELLED and I had no choice. oh and I got injected with steroids (for the first time in my life) to speed recovery. it was so strong I literally saw all white and almost passed out and my parents had to drag me to the car.

anyway promos was fine. but results may not be :X just waiting, waiting.

well I spent my whole day on Youtube (WWE and whatnot) and there’s a ChemO test tmr that I’m going to get 0 for. well I’m disappointed with myself, but what can I do. you can’t reclaim passed time.

I’m really aching(? no this should be after! haha) to GYM but I need to be patient, my foot needs rest. Sometimes I wonder how I suddenly started my gymming obsession, I mean I used to be some fat lazy fuck who thought abs were impossible – okay not that I’m really fit now, but I have made progress – well perhaps it’s sort of a positive feedback thing? that I really saw results, and the results motivate me to continue. ADDICTION ALERT. a healthy one but whatever I don’t really care it’s supposed to be mindless anyway as long as it lets off steam and makes me feel good, what’s there to stop me.

Enough of this mindless rambling on to what made me think of writing this post in the first place. Well no one’s supposed to read this blog anymore so no one will see whatever I write here (if you’re a stalker then maybe…you’re MEANT to read my secrets hmm)

so
you’ve just told me you don’t love me anymore
and my whole world’s come crashing down

I used to say
that when my world came crashing down
I want to be in your arms
typical “me&you against the world” style
and it would be perfect
just me, and you,
lying your arms

but you don’t love me anymore.
so I shouldn’t drag you down.
with my world.

But I’ll still love you forever. you’re perfect.

–

maybe I’ll regret posting this one day.

I don’t care.

and since this is a private blog shouldn’t I lock it? well I’m just entertaining the possibility that somewhere somehow there’s someone still reading this and I’m going to find out one day and get really surprised.

I should seek psychiatric help, talking to myself like this.

I feel disturbed by myself.

that blank feeling

sometimes when there’s too much to do, when everything isn’t going right, “stressed” doesn’t apply anymore. cuz you’re beyond “stressed” you’re just completely overwhelmed and you don’t know what to feel anymore. you feel empty. well your heart’s still beating faster than normal, you can’t fall asleep at night, but you want to shutdown at every other waking moment, because you don’t get that motivated feeling stress gives anymore. that feeling of wanting to conquer something. maybe because you’re tried too hard too long and you know everything’s not going to be okay anyway so why bother. or maybe you’re just tired. and you need more rest. because the lack of sleep is getting to your mind. but then there’s no time to sleep. but if you don’t sleep you’re just wasting time.

Like how I’m wasting time talking to myself here. Fine that was a pile of exaggerated rubbish that I needed to throw out of my system. Like what everyone does online nowadays. Talking about me me me because I’m so important and everyone wants to know about what’s happening to me, IT’S ABOUT ME. (hehe miss ris boomz low I haven’t forgotten you!) I’m totally guilty, I know, and it doesn’t help that Google+ just came out. It’s really disgusting how much time I spend stalking people on FB and Twitter. And the thing is I don’t even enjoy myself. I just really really embarrassed. Somehow, I must learn to accept that no one cares about me (or knows me for that matter) and I need to understand that ASAP before I waste even more time. Ok I really hope it’s really the case that no one reads this place. Oh but I must say for Tumblr I can’t believe I didn’t discover it earlier, I keep getting wowed and it’s genuinely relaxing

But that blank feeling really exists, right? Well maybe not “blank” but I’ve never been good with words. I had it just now. After my group spent 7 hours in the library on our WR and it was almost going to get printed, but the file suddenly became corrupt so all our efforts evaporated. I’ve had a few near-death escapes when all seemed to be bleak but, not today. To think that earlier, by complete coincidence scrolling through random emails, we suddenly realised our interviewee actually replied our interview but hid his reply in the middle of a long string of old forwarded emails. It was so ridiculous it felt unreal, I kept scrolling up and down to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks. Well at least this will make PW memorable. Oh it’s 11.30pm now and we’re not done yet.

I’m so unprepared for promos. DON’T WANT TO GET RETAINED And more importantly I don’t want to disappoint myself.

But there’s really no time to study! There’s like what OMG 5 days left?! I had to check the calendar, I really didn’t know. Yeah, PW’s been inconvenient, but the only one to blame is ME. For being such a lazy piece of shit.

OK BACK TO PW NOW.

…

done.

but of course I have a few songs to post as always My com has so many songs that I’ve never listened to. Because I just download the whole album but only listen to a few title tracks. (That reminds me of all the notes I’ve laid out on my table but haven’t read)

And I realise I’m missing out on so much. Like the next two songs, which I only recently heard even though I’ve had RIOT for ages. Somehow I think they’re accompanying (because of ‘rains’ and ‘flames’? maybe that inspired set fire to the rain hahaha)

<3 Haley she’s perrrfect.

“You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And convinced yourself that
It’s not the reason you don’t see the sun anymore”

 

What a shame
We all became such fragile, broken things
A memory remains just a tiny spark

I give it all my oxygen
So let the flames begin
So let the flames begin
Oh glory, oh glory

This is how we’ll dance when
When they try to take us down
This is what will be, oh glory

Somewhere weakness is our strength
And I’ll die searching for it
I can’t let myself regret, such selfishness

1. park that car 2. drop that phone 3. sleep on the floor… (dream about me)

can’t you come back?

music makes the world go round

-from a youtube comment:

The Script taught me how to move on.

Greenday taught me that government’s gonna fail someday.

Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love.

Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through.

Travis taught me to be generous.

Taylor Swift taught me not every girl is going to treat me right.

30 Seconds to Mars taught me to speak whats on my mind.

Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me.

MUSIC TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE

I was losing myself to somebody else, but now I see

This brings back primary school memories haha, crowding around a portable stereo set with our self-burned discs. VERONICAS<3

and I wish I could still wish it was over

Seriously, whoever writes lyrics for The Script is a GENIUS.
every line is so sweet it makes me :’)

If You Ever Come Back – The Script

If you’re standing with your suitcase
But you can’t step on the train
Everything’s the way that you left it
I still haven’t slept yet

And if you’re covering your face now
But you just can’t hide the pain
Still setting two plates on the counter
But eating without ya

If the truth is you’re a liar
Then just say that you’re okay
I’m sleepin’ on your side of the bed
Goin’ out of my head now

And if you’re out there tryna move on
But something pulls you back again
I’m sitting here tryna persuade you
Like you’re in the same room

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder
And I wish you could still give me a hard time
And I wish I could still wish it was over
But even if wishing is a waste of time
Even if I never crossed your mind

I’ll leave the door on the latch
If you ever come back, if you ever come back
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back

There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back, if you ever come back now
Oh, if you ever come back, if you ever come back

Now they say I’m wasting my time
‘Cause you’re never comin’ home
But they used to say the world was flat
But how wrong was that now?

And by leavin’ my door open
I’m riskin’ everything I own
Something I can lose in the breakin’
That you haven’t taken
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/script-lyrics/if-you-ever-come-back-lyrics.html]

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder
And I wish you can still give me a hard time
And I wish I could still wish it was over
But even if wishing is a waste of time
Even if I never crossed your mind

I’ll leave the door on the latch
If you ever come back, if you ever come back
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back

There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back, if you ever come back now
If you ever come back, if you ever come back

If it’s the fighting you remember or the little things you miss
I know you’re out there somewhere so just remember this
If it’s the fighting you remember or the little things you miss
Oh, just remember this, oh, just remember this

I’ll leave the door on the latch
If you ever come back, if you ever come back
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back

There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back, if you ever come back now
If you ever come back, if you ever come back

And it will be just like you were never gone
And it will be just like you were never gone
And it will be just like you were never gone
If you ever come back, if you ever come back now

PARKBOM<3

Haha this is turning into a music blog oops.

BOMMIE IS SO TALENTED. and the MV is amaaazing :O