sometimes when there’s too much to do, when everything isn’t going right, “stressed” doesn’t apply anymore. cuz you’re beyond “stressed” you’re just completely overwhelmed and you don’t know what to feel anymore. you feel empty. well your heart’s still beating faster than normal, you can’t fall asleep at night, but you want to shutdown at every other waking moment, because you don’t get that motivated feeling stress gives anymore. that feeling of wanting to conquer something. maybe because you’re tried too hard too long and you know everything’s not going to be okay anyway so why bother. or maybe you’re just tired. and you need more rest. because the lack of sleep is getting to your mind. but then there’s no time to sleep. but if you don’t sleep you’re just wasting time.
Like how I’m wasting time talking to myself here. Fine that was a pile of exaggerated rubbish that I needed to throw out of my system. Like what everyone does online nowadays. Talking about me me me because I’m so important and everyone wants to know about what’s happening to me, IT’S ABOUT ME. (hehe miss ris boomz low I haven’t forgotten you!) I’m totally guilty, I know, and it doesn’t help that Google+ just came out. It’s really disgusting how much time I spend stalking people on FB and Twitter. And the thing is I don’t even enjoy myself. I just really really embarrassed. Somehow, I must learn to accept that no one cares about me (or knows me for that matter) and I need to understand that ASAP before I waste even more time. Ok I really hope it’s really the case that no one reads this place. Oh but I must say for Tumblr I can’t believe I didn’t discover it earlier, I keep getting wowed and it’s genuinely relaxing 
But that blank feeling really exists, right? Well maybe not “blank” but I’ve never been good with words. I had it just now. After my group spent 7 hours in the library on our WR and it was almost going to get printed, but the file suddenly became corrupt so all our efforts evaporated. I’ve had a few near-death escapes when all seemed to be bleak but, not today. To think that earlier, by complete coincidence scrolling through random emails, we suddenly realised our interviewee actually replied our interview but hid his reply in the middle of a long string of old forwarded emails. It was so ridiculous it felt unreal, I kept scrolling up and down to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks. Well at least this will make PW memorable. Oh it’s 11.30pm now and we’re not done yet.
I’m so unprepared for promos. DON’T WANT TO GET RETAINED 
And more importantly I don’t want to disappoint myself.
But there’s really no time to study! There’s like what OMG 5 days left?! I had to check the calendar, I really didn’t know. Yeah, PW’s been inconvenient, but the only one to blame is ME. For being such a lazy piece of shit.
OK BACK TO PW NOW.
…
done.
but of course I have a few songs to post as always My com has so many songs that I’ve never listened to. Because I just download the whole album but only listen to a few title tracks. (That reminds me of all the notes I’ve laid out on my table but haven’t read)
And I realise I’m missing out on so much. Like the next two songs, which I only recently heard even though I’ve had RIOT for ages. Somehow I think they’re accompanying (because of ‘rains’ and ‘flames’? maybe that inspired set fire to the rain hahaha)
<3 Haley she’s perrrfect.
“You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And convinced yourself that
It’s not the reason you don’t see the sun anymore”
What a shame
We all became such fragile, broken things
A memory remains just a tiny spark
I give it all my oxygen
So let the flames begin
So let the flames begin
Oh glory, oh glory
This is how we’ll dance when
When they try to take us down
This is what will be, oh glory
Somewhere weakness is our strength
And I’ll die searching for it
I can’t let myself regret, such selfishness
